325

Well, I didn't make it to the gym Friday.  My daughter ended up having a half-day at school followed by the all-school picnic/potluck which was followed by the Dominion tournament at Game Night.  I felt like my day disappeared without any chance to do anything about it.
I thought about going to the gym for a yoga class on Sat or Sun, but it didn't happen either day.  Enjoyed the weekend, but did not get in any exercise. 
Monday I didn't go exercise either.  Ended up spending time with my mom and Jessica.  Kinda regret not getting in a visit to the gym this day, but I'm going to quickly get over it and move on so I don't get trapped feeling bad which will only make me less able to go to the gym in the coming days.

Today I went but my morning got derailed with my co-op at the school because it was a field trip day and the field trip ran over the regular co-op time.  I didn't even get back to the school until after the Tue yoga class was over.  :(  Then I still had to figure out lunch.  I didn't get done with lunch until about 2pm.  I didn't feel like going to the gym.  All I wanted to do was go home and sleep.  But, I knew that there wasn't time for that... but there was time for half an hour work-out. 
In the end I went to the gym.  I even went inside the gym and used the equipment.  I got in a 30 minute work-out plus a five minute cool down at the end.  The machine says I burned 325 calories in that time.  I figure that that makes it worth the visit even though I don't feel that great today.  I made it back to the gym.

It was especially difficult to go to the gym today.  Was it because I'm so totally exhausted and sleep deprived today?  Many nights in a row of not enough sleep and no mid-day naps to make up for it.  Was it because I haven't gone in four days and my mind is trying to revert to my pre-work-out-life?  Four days off was super indulgent and felt good Fri, Sat, and Sun... but Mon I didn't feel good about not making it in to work-out.  I think that's part of what helped me go today even though it ended up being a "short" work-out.  Was it because I'm starting a drop emotionally?  I don't know about this one.  I kinda feel like my sleep dep is going to trigger a depressive spell and I want to avoid that if possible.  Need to figure out how to skirt around impending doom. 

New habits are so crazy difficult to form.  I'm glad I went to the gym rather than just playing Tetris on my phone or doing my Kumihimo to fill the time between when I finished eating and had to get to the school for child retrieval which is what I almost ended up doing.  I felt good to work up a sweat.  I feel like I made up in intensity what I was lacking in duration with today's work-out.  I knew that I'd better make the most of the time I had and that I wouldn't need to have endurance for an hour and a half like most days... so I really pushed myself.  Every time I checked my heart rate, I was *right* at the upper border of where I'm supposed to be for a cardio work-out.  A couple of times I was over and made a conscious effort to back off and slow down a bit.  I don't want to have some random heart attack because I'm being stupid and pushing myself too hard or something. 

Tomorrow is my day to work in the school cafeteria.  I'm sure I'll feel like all I wanna do is sleep but I work in the cafeteria then eat school lunch with my daughter.  I'll probably get to the gym rather late again and do a work-out similar to today's but maybe a bit longer.  It's okay though so long as I go. 

I'll do what I can every time I go, but the goal is to just go and try.  I can do that much.  I have to.  I want to be healthy.  I want to be able to do things without suffering. 

Now it's time to go find a couple of hours of sleep (nowhere near what I need) before I have to get up and start it all over again.