Today, the involuntary sleep deprivation experiment I've been undergoing has finally come to a close. I ended up coming straight home from my morning at the school cafeteria. Rather than getting in a work-out I had a nap. I'm still feeling completely wiped out, so I'm heading to bed now and hoping for a good 10 hours of sleep before I have to start tomorrow. My plan is water aerobics PLUS time on the elliptical machine tomorrow. Not sure if that will happen, but that's what I'm hoping for.
Wish me luck with this attempt to catch up on sleep so I can resume my work-out routine with the same vigor I had before I got so far behind on sleep.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
325
Well, I didn't make it to the gym Friday. My daughter ended up having a half-day at school followed by the all-school picnic/potluck which was followed by the Dominion tournament at Game Night. I felt like my day disappeared without any chance to do anything about it.
I thought about going to the gym for a yoga class on Sat or Sun, but it didn't happen either day. Enjoyed the weekend, but did not get in any exercise.
Monday I didn't go exercise either. Ended up spending time with my mom and Jessica. Kinda regret not getting in a visit to the gym this day, but I'm going to quickly get over it and move on so I don't get trapped feeling bad which will only make me less able to go to the gym in the coming days.
Today I went but my morning got derailed with my co-op at the school because it was a field trip day and the field trip ran over the regular co-op time. I didn't even get back to the school until after the Tue yoga class was over. :( Then I still had to figure out lunch. I didn't get done with lunch until about 2pm. I didn't feel like going to the gym. All I wanted to do was go home and sleep. But, I knew that there wasn't time for that... but there was time for half an hour work-out.
In the end I went to the gym. I even went inside the gym and used the equipment. I got in a 30 minute work-out plus a five minute cool down at the end. The machine says I burned 325 calories in that time. I figure that that makes it worth the visit even though I don't feel that great today. I made it back to the gym.
It was especially difficult to go to the gym today. Was it because I'm so totally exhausted and sleep deprived today? Many nights in a row of not enough sleep and no mid-day naps to make up for it. Was it because I haven't gone in four days and my mind is trying to revert to my pre-work-out-life? Four days off was super indulgent and felt good Fri, Sat, and Sun... but Mon I didn't feel good about not making it in to work-out. I think that's part of what helped me go today even though it ended up being a "short" work-out. Was it because I'm starting a drop emotionally? I don't know about this one. I kinda feel like my sleep dep is going to trigger a depressive spell and I want to avoid that if possible. Need to figure out how to skirt around impending doom.
New habits are so crazy difficult to form. I'm glad I went to the gym rather than just playing Tetris on my phone or doing my Kumihimo to fill the time between when I finished eating and had to get to the school for child retrieval which is what I almost ended up doing. I felt good to work up a sweat. I feel like I made up in intensity what I was lacking in duration with today's work-out. I knew that I'd better make the most of the time I had and that I wouldn't need to have endurance for an hour and a half like most days... so I really pushed myself. Every time I checked my heart rate, I was *right* at the upper border of where I'm supposed to be for a cardio work-out. A couple of times I was over and made a conscious effort to back off and slow down a bit. I don't want to have some random heart attack because I'm being stupid and pushing myself too hard or something.
Tomorrow is my day to work in the school cafeteria. I'm sure I'll feel like all I wanna do is sleep but I work in the cafeteria then eat school lunch with my daughter. I'll probably get to the gym rather late again and do a work-out similar to today's but maybe a bit longer. It's okay though so long as I go.
I'll do what I can every time I go, but the goal is to just go and try. I can do that much. I have to. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to do things without suffering.
Now it's time to go find a couple of hours of sleep (nowhere near what I need) before I have to get up and start it all over again.
I thought about going to the gym for a yoga class on Sat or Sun, but it didn't happen either day. Enjoyed the weekend, but did not get in any exercise.
Monday I didn't go exercise either. Ended up spending time with my mom and Jessica. Kinda regret not getting in a visit to the gym this day, but I'm going to quickly get over it and move on so I don't get trapped feeling bad which will only make me less able to go to the gym in the coming days.
Today I went but my morning got derailed with my co-op at the school because it was a field trip day and the field trip ran over the regular co-op time. I didn't even get back to the school until after the Tue yoga class was over. :( Then I still had to figure out lunch. I didn't get done with lunch until about 2pm. I didn't feel like going to the gym. All I wanted to do was go home and sleep. But, I knew that there wasn't time for that... but there was time for half an hour work-out.
In the end I went to the gym. I even went inside the gym and used the equipment. I got in a 30 minute work-out plus a five minute cool down at the end. The machine says I burned 325 calories in that time. I figure that that makes it worth the visit even though I don't feel that great today. I made it back to the gym.
It was especially difficult to go to the gym today. Was it because I'm so totally exhausted and sleep deprived today? Many nights in a row of not enough sleep and no mid-day naps to make up for it. Was it because I haven't gone in four days and my mind is trying to revert to my pre-work-out-life? Four days off was super indulgent and felt good Fri, Sat, and Sun... but Mon I didn't feel good about not making it in to work-out. I think that's part of what helped me go today even though it ended up being a "short" work-out. Was it because I'm starting a drop emotionally? I don't know about this one. I kinda feel like my sleep dep is going to trigger a depressive spell and I want to avoid that if possible. Need to figure out how to skirt around impending doom.
New habits are so crazy difficult to form. I'm glad I went to the gym rather than just playing Tetris on my phone or doing my Kumihimo to fill the time between when I finished eating and had to get to the school for child retrieval which is what I almost ended up doing. I felt good to work up a sweat. I feel like I made up in intensity what I was lacking in duration with today's work-out. I knew that I'd better make the most of the time I had and that I wouldn't need to have endurance for an hour and a half like most days... so I really pushed myself. Every time I checked my heart rate, I was *right* at the upper border of where I'm supposed to be for a cardio work-out. A couple of times I was over and made a conscious effort to back off and slow down a bit. I don't want to have some random heart attack because I'm being stupid and pushing myself too hard or something.
Tomorrow is my day to work in the school cafeteria. I'm sure I'll feel like all I wanna do is sleep but I work in the cafeteria then eat school lunch with my daughter. I'll probably get to the gym rather late again and do a work-out similar to today's but maybe a bit longer. It's okay though so long as I go.
I'll do what I can every time I go, but the goal is to just go and try. I can do that much. I have to. I want to be healthy. I want to be able to do things without suffering.
Now it's time to go find a couple of hours of sleep (nowhere near what I need) before I have to get up and start it all over again.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Aqua
Okay, so today I went to a water aerobics class at the Sugarhouse gym. They call it Aqua. I'm okay with that. I was amazingly pleased with the experience. I've been to many water aerobics classes before... I've had college classes which even show how to teach them, what sort of things to do in teaching them, etc. I like the method of getting in better shape, it's one of my favorites. I'd say that today's instruction was not the best... maybe about a 4 on a 1-10 scale.
What it's lacking in the actual activities within the class, it's making up for in the fact that my heart rate went up and I had a blast because these people know each other and spend the whole time bantering back and forth... and vaguely teasing/harassing one another. The instructor asked my name upon my entering the pool, then the instructor introduced me to every other class participant in there. As people arrived late, she welcomed them all by name. They chatted about the goings on of their lives, and all-in-all it met my desire to have work-out be a social experience. Two thumbs up for that aspect of it. It seems like about 4/5ths of the class is made up of elderly people. There was one lady with Down's syndrome. There were a couple of younger mom's who were trying to lose that last bit of baby weight... and basically I didn't feel like I was the only over-weight, out-of-shape person trying to get a handle on all this. *gestures with hands to indicate the flabby, fatty areas* I enjoyed the chit-chat that went on, I enjoyed the interactions I had with the other people, and I just had a great time even though the work-out itself was rather boring. It did cover all the bases, warm-up... more intensive stuff in the middle, upper body and abs later up with the water dumbbells, and cool-down followed by stretching at the end. It was an hour long and I think it will be a great counter-balance to the yoga of Tuesday. So, if I can keep it up I'll do the big hour-and-a-half machine work-out on MWF and Tue will be yoga, Thu will be Aqua. Might throw in another something on one of the weekend days if it works out that way, might not if I don't feel like it. Weighed myself today, after breakfast but before my work-out... still same 235. Oh well. Not worried about it. I'm getting to where I don't suffer quite as much as a result of the exercise.
I'm off to make progress in another area of my life... getting rid of and organizing the piles and piles of "stuff" that I've accumulated over the years. Wish me luck on that one too... I need it. I need a heaping pile of determination, dedication, perseverance, and a dash of luck to help it all fall into place.
What it's lacking in the actual activities within the class, it's making up for in the fact that my heart rate went up and I had a blast because these people know each other and spend the whole time bantering back and forth... and vaguely teasing/harassing one another. The instructor asked my name upon my entering the pool, then the instructor introduced me to every other class participant in there. As people arrived late, she welcomed them all by name. They chatted about the goings on of their lives, and all-in-all it met my desire to have work-out be a social experience. Two thumbs up for that aspect of it. It seems like about 4/5ths of the class is made up of elderly people. There was one lady with Down's syndrome. There were a couple of younger mom's who were trying to lose that last bit of baby weight... and basically I didn't feel like I was the only over-weight, out-of-shape person trying to get a handle on all this. *gestures with hands to indicate the flabby, fatty areas* I enjoyed the chit-chat that went on, I enjoyed the interactions I had with the other people, and I just had a great time even though the work-out itself was rather boring. It did cover all the bases, warm-up... more intensive stuff in the middle, upper body and abs later up with the water dumbbells, and cool-down followed by stretching at the end. It was an hour long and I think it will be a great counter-balance to the yoga of Tuesday. So, if I can keep it up I'll do the big hour-and-a-half machine work-out on MWF and Tue will be yoga, Thu will be Aqua. Might throw in another something on one of the weekend days if it works out that way, might not if I don't feel like it. Weighed myself today, after breakfast but before my work-out... still same 235. Oh well. Not worried about it. I'm getting to where I don't suffer quite as much as a result of the exercise.
I'm off to make progress in another area of my life... getting rid of and organizing the piles and piles of "stuff" that I've accumulated over the years. Wish me luck on that one too... I need it. I need a heaping pile of determination, dedication, perseverance, and a dash of luck to help it all fall into place.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Still slogging away at it
Well, I did another one and a half hours at the gym today, elliptical and recumbent bike thingie. I think I was pretty exhausted today as a result of yoga yesterday so I only managed 680 calories burned for the hour and a half. Oh well. Still making good progress. Still doing this, even though I have to do it alone - which is not necessarily my top choice. What is it about this process that makes everyone put on headphones and tune everyone else out? I'd rather chat with people while I'm working out, but it's not really an option. I joined the gym that Gary goes to, but he's never available to work-out together, and even if he was he expressly stated that he prefers to put on headphones and tune me out. I also considered the one Mike goes to, but it's a bit more out-of-the-way for me because I like to stop between my daughter's school (in the north end of town) and my home (just south of the gym I picked.) He also tends to work-out in the evenings and I seem to have a very full schedule in the evenings. When picking a gym, I chose the one that was convenient to get to because the time I'll be able to go doesn't seem to match up with anyone I'd like to go work out with. :( I'd like to figure out the weights, but I guess I'm still working on figuring out the classes that are available to me. Yoga kicks my butt... which I kinda need. I think I'm the only one in the class that's over 200lbs, and that's including the bigger guys! (some serious eye candy though) I think I'd like to try the Zumba class or a step and cardio class... will have to see how to fit it in with my current schedule.
*****
On a different note, I also got some stuff for my cat to work-out with... a remote-control mousie toy, a laser pointer, and a doorknob hanger elastic toy that has feathers, bells, and a stuffed fishie. My daughter's having a great time getting him to spaz out a bit before bedtime. Maybe Westley will be ready for sleep when we are. *crossing my fingers*
*****
On a different note, I also got some stuff for my cat to work-out with... a remote-control mousie toy, a laser pointer, and a doorknob hanger elastic toy that has feathers, bells, and a stuffed fishie. My daughter's having a great time getting him to spaz out a bit before bedtime. Maybe Westley will be ready for sleep when we are. *crossing my fingers*
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
800 plus yoga
Yesterday's work-out was at a new-to-me location in Sugarhouse. Got in 800 calories. Today was the normal location and the Yoga class again. Hope tomorrow doesn't hurt quite as much. Out of time to write much, but I managed to read 9 chapters of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea yesterday at the gym. Whee! I'm reading it for the literacy group I'm leading at my daughter's school. The kids picked it over Call of the Wild and Pearl Harbor. I'm pleased because it's pretty awesome so far. :D
Friday, September 16, 2011
730 calories burned
I did it... I managed another good work-out today. Also read a chapter and a half in my book. I think mom's Kindle would be much easier to manage at the gym. I might have to borrow it next time.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Day off
The pain of yoga recovery means I took a day off today. Planned on doing a step aerobics class, but I just hurt from my glutes to my intercostals... my hands don't hurt... and my calves don't hurt. I think most of the rest of me does. So, today was just a rest day. Tomorrow I shall get back to moving. I'll try for a minimum of 700 calories.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
550
Today's visit to the gym was hijacked by some indigestion. Got in about an hour of my work-out, but ran out of time because of a delayed start. I'm totally sore... SORE I TELL YOU... because of the yoga yesterday. I'm not wanting to pop ibuprofen unless I have to. So far, I'm getting through it in spite of the tender everything. And by everything, I mean it seems that way... bits of me are sore that haven't been flexed/challenged in ages. I don't like this part of reclaiming some level of fitness. :(
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Yoga Day
Well, I looked over the class schedule for the gym and saw that the yoga class on Tuesday falls right in line with heading there straight after my co-op time in my daughter's class. I attended it today and feel really good. I got in a build-up-a-sweat work-out that wasn't elliptical and recumbent bike. No idea of the calories burned... but I do know that I like working on flexibility, breathing, strength, endurance, and mental calm. I feel great!
Tomorrow will be another visit to the machines, and hopefully this method of changing it up will mean tomorrow I'll have plenty of energy for another long hard calorie burn. :D
Tomorrow will be another visit to the machines, and hopefully this method of changing it up will mean tomorrow I'll have plenty of energy for another long hard calorie burn. :D
Monday, September 12, 2011
830 calories today!
Thursday I went to the state fair here in SLC with my daughter's class, and walked around in the hot sun for 3 hours. I figured it may not have been the best ever work-out, but I still counted as burning calories that wouldn't have been burned normally. After the field trip, I grabbed some lunch only to run out of time for the gym that day. Last Friday I had just gotten going on my killer work-out, about 25 minutes in... and I had the alarm on my phone go off telling me to remember my vet appointment for my kitten's 2nd run of vaccines. Had to abort my plans for a good long work-out... I'd already killed about 240 calories by the time I stopped and went out to my car, so it wasn't the end of the world.
Today's work-out was awesome though. I tried a new one of the work-out options on the elliptical machine. I chose "Hill Climb" which is apparently increasing tension throughout with short bursts of low tension. It was not an easy work-out, but I burned about 650 calories for my 60 minutes which is a little more than usual. Then I switched to the recumbent bike and did another half hour plus 5 minute cool-down. I ended up with about 180 calories burned for it because I was taking it pretty easy on there. But, this is my best calorie burn in one go thus far. :D
I also managed to read about three chapters in a parenting book. Still working on "Kids Are Worth It," "Parenting With Love and Logic," and "Positive Discipline" in an attempt to learn something about how to do this parenting thing better. Today I read three more chapters from "Kids Are Worth It."
I think tomorrow, I may just come home after working at the school and do a yoga video instead of trying to do another killer work-out at the gym then back to the gym on Wed for another long workout like today. I think that might be a better system for me... intense calorie burn every other day, stretching, flexibility, strength the other days. I'm definitely still figuring this stuff out.
Today's work-out was awesome though. I tried a new one of the work-out options on the elliptical machine. I chose "Hill Climb" which is apparently increasing tension throughout with short bursts of low tension. It was not an easy work-out, but I burned about 650 calories for my 60 minutes which is a little more than usual. Then I switched to the recumbent bike and did another half hour plus 5 minute cool-down. I ended up with about 180 calories burned for it because I was taking it pretty easy on there. But, this is my best calorie burn in one go thus far. :D
I also managed to read about three chapters in a parenting book. Still working on "Kids Are Worth It," "Parenting With Love and Logic," and "Positive Discipline" in an attempt to learn something about how to do this parenting thing better. Today I read three more chapters from "Kids Are Worth It."
I think tomorrow, I may just come home after working at the school and do a yoga video instead of trying to do another killer work-out at the gym then back to the gym on Wed for another long workout like today. I think that might be a better system for me... intense calorie burn every other day, stretching, flexibility, strength the other days. I'm definitely still figuring this stuff out.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Slow start to the week
Well, I spent much of Monday on getting things lined up to get home from Idaho. No time or energy left to stop by at the gym before bed.
Tuesday I started my day with volunteer time in my daughter's class. I then joined her for school lunch. My tummy still didn't feel well as a result of whatever I had this weekend. After eating lunch with R, the plan was to go work-out at the gym. Once leaving the school though, I sat in my car and called my mom for about half of an hour. I was kind of debating whether to skip the work-out for the day because of not feeling well. In the end I decided to give it a try, but instead of trying for 60-90 minutes, I would allow myself to stop for the day after just 30. I felt good about that because I was weighing the trouble I have with not following through on an exercise program. I did so and ended up staying on the elliptical machine long enough to burn 300 calories in all. (just over 30 minutes this time.)
Here's some of what was going on in my head while having a bit of conversation with mom about other topics not related to exercise.
I figured that it's always very easy to come up with valid reasons to skip exercise. That's one of the reason's I'm currently so overweight and out of shape. I'm good at talking myself out of doing what I need to get/stay fit. So, I sat there in my car... gabbing with my mom about whatever... all-the-while trying to come up with good reasons to go to the gym in spite of not feeling all that well.
1- Time at the gym is "me" time. It's time I've set aside every day so I can take steps to love me more. I love that I'm doing something to fix something I don't like about myself. I love that I'm doing it on my own without relying on someone else in any way. I love that I'm doing it without having been told to do so. This is 100% by me, for me.
2- I am in control of stopping when and if I need to during a work-out. If I try to work out and it makes me feel worse, I can stop for that day. It's allowed. I can also adjust my daily exercise amount to fit how I feel. if I plan on 60 minutes but I still feel like I have a bit more in me that day, I can switch machines and add another 30-45. If I plan on 60 minutes and I feel fatigued with my first step... I can re-adjust the time on the machine down to 30 or 40 minutes to compensate for my level of tired/sore/exhaustion/etc.
3- Consistency is the goal... not perfection. I need to go every day on the way home from dropping Rebecca off. I need to not double-schedule that time. I need to do this even when I am tired, bored, stressed, depressed, lonely, hungry, etc. The list of things I can think up to talk myself out of it is endless. I have made this commitment to myself and if I can keep it, I will be able to lose weight, get fit, and live a more full life. In my current state of non-fitness, I avoid things I'd like to do because I'm simply too weak, too sore, too tired, too out-of-breath, too unable to do them. I'd like to do cross-country skiing, rock climbing, canoeing, spelunking, hiking, bike-riding, etc. If I'm out of shape, I can't do these things as easily and I don't enjoy them as much when I do them because of the suffering brought on by fatigue. Taking regular "baby steps" toward my goals is the only way to get there and the only way to get there is to actually take the step of "go to the gym."
4- If I lose weight, I can buy a wardrobe I'll enjoy shopping for clothes again because I might be able to find clothes that fit again. Shopping in plus sizes is very limiting, not to mention frustrating.
5- My daughter loves me. I love her. If I continue to let my health deteriorate, I might not be around for her as long as she needs me to be. This is very scary indeed. This causes tears and sadness. If I'm not able to take these baby steps for me, I need to take them for my baby.
6- I know it's possible. I've seen other people turn their lives around by taking these same steps. I see that it's not easy. I see that everyone struggles with it and that this is normal. But, most important, I am inspired by those in my life who have taken control and done what needed doing.
7- Apparently, by doing this and blogging about it, I have the ability to possibly inspire others to take similar steps. I love being able to help other people... and if going to the gym each day will help anyone else to also make progress toward their fitness goals, I want to do so.
8- I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror or have my picture taken. Yes, I'm cute enough... but honestly how the hell did my arms get so saggy, flabby, fat? Is that really how big my ass is? My ankles and feet seem to be swelling on occasion... and I think it may be related to weight and/or diet. I want that to go away, I used to have cute little ankles.
9- My thighs rub together when I walk and I wear through my jeans first in the area where my thighs rub. This is disturbing. I do not like this.
10- Sex isn't as fun when I'm not in shape, flexible, strong, limber, fit, etc. That right there is reason enough to want to go to the gym every chance I get.
11- Bacon. You may ask why I put this on the list. You could actually substitute "Chocolate" or possibly "Butter" in place of bacon. I'm sure you have a word that would apply here. Let me just say... I don't want to have to completely give up the good things in life... and that means food that is bad for me. If I can eat a fairly well-balanced diet and exercise enough... I can still occasionally eat the things that really send a rush of endorphins through my body and give me a high by consuming them. I don't want to give up Bacon, damnit!
There may be more reasons to have gone, but I was able to successfully find many reasons that made it better to go to the gym even with my stomach feeling sore and somewhat queasy than to skip one day and go home to nap. I hope these reasons are able to help me through difficult times in the future.
I'm glad that in the end I found a way to compromise with myself. By changing my goal for that day from 90 minutes down to 30, I was able to do a work-out that didn't kill me and in so doing, I kept my promise to myself. I felt much better because of having gone than I would have if I'd skipped it. Plus, I learned that sometimes just taking time to properly weigh my choices will help me to make the right one.
Today, I was again feeling tired and exhausted. I went to the gym anyway. I got in a workout that was just over 60 minutes. I stopped just after I reached 600 calories. I also spent about 2 1/2 hours on my feet chopping veggies and fruit for the school cafeteria. Standing burns more than sitting... and I know that I spend a large amount of my life sitting... so the change to volunteering in the cafeteria once per week will add a few extra un-counted calories being burned just because for those hours I'm standing.
Over-and-out... more to come soon. I hope tomorrow goes well. I'm joining my daughter's class on a field trip. It's one that will involve walking and standing quite a bit... so there will be some built-in calorie expense there, but I'll also do my best to stop by the gym on the way home from that so as to get in some exercise.
On a completely different topic, my daughter now has ringworm. This is not good news. I'm dealing with it, but in general it sucks and might take quite a while to get rid of, even with the proper prescription anti-fungal creme which costs $306. I'm not sure if insurance will cover any of it. *sigh* Money sucks. Perhaps one day I'll be strong enough in my life to conquer money issues as well. I sure hope so!
Tuesday I started my day with volunteer time in my daughter's class. I then joined her for school lunch. My tummy still didn't feel well as a result of whatever I had this weekend. After eating lunch with R, the plan was to go work-out at the gym. Once leaving the school though, I sat in my car and called my mom for about half of an hour. I was kind of debating whether to skip the work-out for the day because of not feeling well. In the end I decided to give it a try, but instead of trying for 60-90 minutes, I would allow myself to stop for the day after just 30. I felt good about that because I was weighing the trouble I have with not following through on an exercise program. I did so and ended up staying on the elliptical machine long enough to burn 300 calories in all. (just over 30 minutes this time.)
Here's some of what was going on in my head while having a bit of conversation with mom about other topics not related to exercise.
I figured that it's always very easy to come up with valid reasons to skip exercise. That's one of the reason's I'm currently so overweight and out of shape. I'm good at talking myself out of doing what I need to get/stay fit. So, I sat there in my car... gabbing with my mom about whatever... all-the-while trying to come up with good reasons to go to the gym in spite of not feeling all that well.
1- Time at the gym is "me" time. It's time I've set aside every day so I can take steps to love me more. I love that I'm doing something to fix something I don't like about myself. I love that I'm doing it on my own without relying on someone else in any way. I love that I'm doing it without having been told to do so. This is 100% by me, for me.
2- I am in control of stopping when and if I need to during a work-out. If I try to work out and it makes me feel worse, I can stop for that day. It's allowed. I can also adjust my daily exercise amount to fit how I feel. if I plan on 60 minutes but I still feel like I have a bit more in me that day, I can switch machines and add another 30-45. If I plan on 60 minutes and I feel fatigued with my first step... I can re-adjust the time on the machine down to 30 or 40 minutes to compensate for my level of tired/sore/exhaustion/etc.
3- Consistency is the goal... not perfection. I need to go every day on the way home from dropping Rebecca off. I need to not double-schedule that time. I need to do this even when I am tired, bored, stressed, depressed, lonely, hungry, etc. The list of things I can think up to talk myself out of it is endless. I have made this commitment to myself and if I can keep it, I will be able to lose weight, get fit, and live a more full life. In my current state of non-fitness, I avoid things I'd like to do because I'm simply too weak, too sore, too tired, too out-of-breath, too unable to do them. I'd like to do cross-country skiing, rock climbing, canoeing, spelunking, hiking, bike-riding, etc. If I'm out of shape, I can't do these things as easily and I don't enjoy them as much when I do them because of the suffering brought on by fatigue. Taking regular "baby steps" toward my goals is the only way to get there and the only way to get there is to actually take the step of "go to the gym."
4- If I lose weight, I can buy a wardrobe I'll enjoy shopping for clothes again because I might be able to find clothes that fit again. Shopping in plus sizes is very limiting, not to mention frustrating.
5- My daughter loves me. I love her. If I continue to let my health deteriorate, I might not be around for her as long as she needs me to be. This is very scary indeed. This causes tears and sadness. If I'm not able to take these baby steps for me, I need to take them for my baby.
6- I know it's possible. I've seen other people turn their lives around by taking these same steps. I see that it's not easy. I see that everyone struggles with it and that this is normal. But, most important, I am inspired by those in my life who have taken control and done what needed doing.
7- Apparently, by doing this and blogging about it, I have the ability to possibly inspire others to take similar steps. I love being able to help other people... and if going to the gym each day will help anyone else to also make progress toward their fitness goals, I want to do so.
8- I don't like what I see when I look in the mirror or have my picture taken. Yes, I'm cute enough... but honestly how the hell did my arms get so saggy, flabby, fat? Is that really how big my ass is? My ankles and feet seem to be swelling on occasion... and I think it may be related to weight and/or diet. I want that to go away, I used to have cute little ankles.
9- My thighs rub together when I walk and I wear through my jeans first in the area where my thighs rub. This is disturbing. I do not like this.
10- Sex isn't as fun when I'm not in shape, flexible, strong, limber, fit, etc. That right there is reason enough to want to go to the gym every chance I get.
11- Bacon. You may ask why I put this on the list. You could actually substitute "Chocolate" or possibly "Butter" in place of bacon. I'm sure you have a word that would apply here. Let me just say... I don't want to have to completely give up the good things in life... and that means food that is bad for me. If I can eat a fairly well-balanced diet and exercise enough... I can still occasionally eat the things that really send a rush of endorphins through my body and give me a high by consuming them. I don't want to give up Bacon, damnit!
There may be more reasons to have gone, but I was able to successfully find many reasons that made it better to go to the gym even with my stomach feeling sore and somewhat queasy than to skip one day and go home to nap. I hope these reasons are able to help me through difficult times in the future.
I'm glad that in the end I found a way to compromise with myself. By changing my goal for that day from 90 minutes down to 30, I was able to do a work-out that didn't kill me and in so doing, I kept my promise to myself. I felt much better because of having gone than I would have if I'd skipped it. Plus, I learned that sometimes just taking time to properly weigh my choices will help me to make the right one.
Today, I was again feeling tired and exhausted. I went to the gym anyway. I got in a workout that was just over 60 minutes. I stopped just after I reached 600 calories. I also spent about 2 1/2 hours on my feet chopping veggies and fruit for the school cafeteria. Standing burns more than sitting... and I know that I spend a large amount of my life sitting... so the change to volunteering in the cafeteria once per week will add a few extra un-counted calories being burned just because for those hours I'm standing.
Over-and-out... more to come soon. I hope tomorrow goes well. I'm joining my daughter's class on a field trip. It's one that will involve walking and standing quite a bit... so there will be some built-in calorie expense there, but I'll also do my best to stop by the gym on the way home from that so as to get in some exercise.
On a completely different topic, my daughter now has ringworm. This is not good news. I'm dealing with it, but in general it sucks and might take quite a while to get rid of, even with the proper prescription anti-fungal creme which costs $306. I'm not sure if insurance will cover any of it. *sigh* Money sucks. Perhaps one day I'll be strong enough in my life to conquer money issues as well. I sure hope so!
Post that I wrote 9-5-11and am now able to post.
I've had an interesting weekend so far. Drove up to Idaho Falls on Friday evening with my daughter and my two Chinese tenants, Carl and Milo. My daughter has spent the weekend with her father and his family and I've been putting around the area with Carl and Milo. We came up here because my friend Hope invited us to join her for the state fair in Blackfoot. Rebecca ended up going to the fair on Sat with her dad. She threw up at the fair and again after getting home, so when it was time to go with us she wasn't feeling up to it. Sat the boys and I hung out at the mall for a while, had lunch with Hope and her family, came over to Melissa's place where the boys napped and I talked and played games with Melissa. She had evening plans with friends so Carl, Milo and I went down to walk around the greenbelt. (I did my best to keep up the pace so it would actually count as getting some sort of exercise in... if I remember correctly it's about 2.5 miles around.) After the walk, we came back and had pizza with Melissa and her friend Gary. Sunday, we got up, had a lovely breakfast of ginger scones and eggs but I wasn't feeling too well so I stuck with only the scones. My tummy was feeling all gassy and bloated, and I was somewhat queasy so I didn't want to eat much. We left quickly to meet Hope at 10:40 as requested, but I guess there wasn't any sort of hurry and we could have taken our time. We didn't really get down to the fair until half past noon because of everything that needed to get done first. I had part of a Mt Dew on the way there because I was feeling completely drained of energy and even after two or three hours of being up I still didn't really feel quite awake. While at the fair though, the sun was hot and the food was totally unappealing, so I didn't eat anything and I drank only water... still feeling somewhat ill. Milo had a Mellow Yellow, Carl had a Red bull, a water, a sprite, and I'm not sure what else - but by 4pm Carl was sick in the bathroom. :( So, we packed up and headed back to Melissa's. I felt totally exhausted and wiped out after being on my feel for only 3 hours or so at the fair. We all took naps and woke up around a quarter to 8 and had some dinner. I headed back to bed and slept a long time. Plans to stop in Logan on the way home have been cancelled, I don't want to share whatever stomach upset we're all going through with my friends or their baby. This also means I don't particularly want to try stopping by in Ogden to visit with Amie even though I was trying to figure out how to fit that in scheduling-wise. My stomach doesn't feel 100% yet, but probably about 80% better.
All-in-all, I think I got a bit of exercise in walking around the greenbelt and in putting around at the fair. Not sure how effective it all was though.
All-in-all, I think I got a bit of exercise in walking around the greenbelt and in putting around at the fair. Not sure how effective it all was though.
Friday, September 2, 2011
So exhausted!
Today I really didn't have any steam left. I feel like I was exercising at about 2/3 power. I only managed an hour of a work-out instead of an hour and a half. I got about 530 calories today, which balances because on Monday I got about 570 which brings my grand-total for the week to about 2,500 calories. Very exciting. That's about 70% of the 3,500 I need to burn for a full pound of weight-loss. (not that it necessarily lines up to losing a pound... it of course depends on how many calories I eat... but I figure if I can have the goal of burning up about this much per week or more, I'll be doing great. I think I might need to re-think my plan. I might do much better if I really do just go every other day. I could probably get in over 700 each day that way, and maybe if I pair it with yoga at home on the "off" days, I might be able to sustain this longer. I feel totally and completely wiped out. I also want to add in lifting weights to help build muscle... and am feeling a little sketchy about how to do that. I've done it in the past, but I feel like I need a refresher course on how to do it. Maybe that would be worth getting a few sessions with a personal trainer. I want to maximize what I'm doing, and as it is I feel vaguely like I'm just not sure what to do with various options available to me.
Looking forward to my trip to Idaho this weekend. We're visiting the ID State Fair in Blackfoot, probably on Sun, and Heise Hot Springs, either Fri or Mon. I'm taking my daughter up to spend time with her dad and I'm taking my two Chinese students up to get a feel for this part of the country.
Yay, vacation! :)
Looking forward to my trip to Idaho this weekend. We're visiting the ID State Fair in Blackfoot, probably on Sun, and Heise Hot Springs, either Fri or Mon. I'm taking my daughter up to spend time with her dad and I'm taking my two Chinese students up to get a feel for this part of the country.
Yay, vacation! :)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
700 Calories
Today I was noticeably more exhausted than yesterday. Perhaps because I took the day off on Tuesday. But it was really hell to do as many minutes as I did yesterday. I wasn't able to maintain the same pace I did yesterday.
Nothing particularly exciting caught my attention today... except for one girl who was totally skinny and one that could have totally passed for a man. The skinny lady was spinning and hunched over on the handlebars. She was sweating buckets (not like yesterday's spinning champion) and her spine was sticking up and I could clearly make out about four or five of her vertebrae. Not sure if that's normal... but it was kind of gross. The other lady was probably early 20's and would have passed for a man if it weren't for the outline of her sports bra underneath her work-out attire.
I'm starting to recognize a few of the repeat fitness junkies. Maybe in time I'll even talk to one or two. Seems like talking amongst gym patrons is not culturally acceptable, although I think it's different in the classes held upstairs from the cardio equipment and weights area.
So today I've learned that it takes aprox 3,500 calories to burn a pound of fat. So, that breaks down to or an average of 500 calories to burn per day beyond what I need to account for what I'm eating.
I've been doing more like 700 in my hour and a half work-outs... so I think that's good. I should be able to effectively kill 1 lb/week assuming I don't go heinously overboard with my eating habits.
Honestly, to meet my goal of 80lbs in 2 years, I can lost 3/4 of a pound each week and still be good.
That's about 3/month.
Do-able.
I can do this.
Nothing particularly exciting caught my attention today... except for one girl who was totally skinny and one that could have totally passed for a man. The skinny lady was spinning and hunched over on the handlebars. She was sweating buckets (not like yesterday's spinning champion) and her spine was sticking up and I could clearly make out about four or five of her vertebrae. Not sure if that's normal... but it was kind of gross. The other lady was probably early 20's and would have passed for a man if it weren't for the outline of her sports bra underneath her work-out attire.
I'm starting to recognize a few of the repeat fitness junkies. Maybe in time I'll even talk to one or two. Seems like talking amongst gym patrons is not culturally acceptable, although I think it's different in the classes held upstairs from the cardio equipment and weights area.
So today I've learned that it takes aprox 3,500 calories to burn a pound of fat. So, that breaks down to or an average of 500 calories to burn per day beyond what I need to account for what I'm eating.
I've been doing more like 700 in my hour and a half work-outs... so I think that's good. I should be able to effectively kill 1 lb/week assuming I don't go heinously overboard with my eating habits.
Honestly, to meet my goal of 80lbs in 2 years, I can lost 3/4 of a pound each week and still be good.
That's about 3/month.
Do-able.
I can do this.
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